Dear Shplinky,
Well, Thanksgiving weekend has passed. It was super great. Your mommy and I were able to relax, catch up on sleep, shop (3 ½ hours), watch a couple movies, and hang out with friends and family. I kept thinking how awesome it’s going to be that next thanksgiving will be your first. You will be about 4 months old! I didn’t get to play football this year, which marks the first year in awhile that I didn’t do that on Thanksgiving. So, next year…you and me – we’re gonna play ok? I’ll give you a 100 billion-point lead to make it fair, ok? But only next year…every year after that, you and me…living room…Lambros Arena Cushion Football…it’s on!
So, we need to have a talk. It’s that special talk. You know…father to son…or father to daughter. It’s that talk that nobody likes to have with their kid. It’s awkward. It’s “emotional.” Nobody knows the “right” time to talk about it. Yet, I think there is never a time too early to bring this up. You ready? Are you sitting still? I mean, floating still?
UofA is the worst school out of every school known to mankind. As a Lambros, you will NOT like UofA…anything UofA. You will have a special hatred of UofA. UofA will be viewed upon on a similar level as sin. God hates UofA. You will stay away from UofA. You will not wear any item of apparel from UofA. I don’t care if you go to USC even (and that’s saying a lot because I don’t like them either)…just not UofA.
Whew…ok. Glad we got that out of the way. Again, I’m sorry if that was awkward for you. It might have been too early, but at 10 weeks, I think that talk was appropriate.
Ok, so seriously, Shplinky. Right now you are growing the parts of your body that “determine” your gender. How cool is THAT?! Thus, this has brought up something that I was talking to your mommy about.
If you develop into a boy: I will teach you what it means to be a man of God. I will teach you Biblical manhood. I can’t wait to teach you to open doors for ladies and how to treat women. You will get to practice on your mommy. You will go on mommy/son dates and you will open the door for her, you will lead conversation, and you will pay for her Starbucks drink (I will give you money and you will drink a hot chocolate).
If you develop into a girl: I will teach you that your value isn’t dependant on anything or anyone except your heavenly Father. Your identity will be God’s Princess. I will teach you to not settle; to have your standards high for the man for you. I will teach you how to be a lady, but also how to run with the boys! I will let you dress in pink and be all girly…but you will NOT paint my nails. I will teach you how to let boys lead and how to honor God with modesty.
Either way, boy or girl, I’m excited for you. It’s going to be so much fun!
Your loving waiting father,
Daddy